I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
