I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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