Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
