I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
