Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
