I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
