i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
