Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
