I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I need to calm my uterus...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
