u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize