What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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