that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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