so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I will pee on everything he values.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
