I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize