Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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