two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
