wakey wakey hands off snakey
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
