Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
