Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
worst night to have a conscience
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize