I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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