grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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