is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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