Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
