I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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