Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
