Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
