So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
