Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
