So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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