This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
