you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Fuck appropriateness.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
