I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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