Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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