If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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