His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We were destined to go to rehab together
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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