i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
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