16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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