We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
