stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
