Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize