Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
