Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
