new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize