3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
no, he came in my armpit
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
