dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
