Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My liver just had a heart attack.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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