We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
