there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
