is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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