I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
