All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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