i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
