well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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