I love black thongs
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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