we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
