He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
