I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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