i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
tell me about the fingering
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