The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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