Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just sucked dick on a ferry
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
