the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
