honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
